Terms & Panditions

By entering this website, you agree that koalahs may be called koalahs, pandahs may be called pandahs, and spelling corrections will be placed gently into a hollow bamboo tube where no one can hear them. Use of the site is permitted for personal amusement, professional curiosity, and determining whether breakfast bamboo differs meaningfully from lunch bamboo.

All schedules are aspirational. All snack quantities are estimates. Illustrations may depict animals appearing more productive than they were at the time. No guarantee is made regarding availability, wakefulness, branch stability, leaf crispness, or the completion of any task begun within two hours of a meal. Subscriptions renew according to the plan selected and the continued existence of bamboo.

Users must not impersonate snack inspectors, remove evidence, disturb a strategic nap, or describe eucalyptus as “basically salad” within earshot of a koalah. Disputes will be resolved through binding ar-bear-tration, followed by a snack and mutual refusal to admit fault. If any provision is unenforceable, it will be replaced with a smaller provision that fits comfortably on the branch. Continued browsing constitutes a tiny nod of acceptance.