Evidence

This archive contains the materials repeatedly requested by people who asked, “Can you prove any of this?” Evidence is organized according to a rigorous system of visual appeal, snack proximity, and whether the document was already lying face-up. Items include branch diagrams, partially completed attendance sheets, leaf receipts, eyewitness sketches, and one photograph of a pandah looking extremely surprised by an event it probably caused.

Exhibit A establishes that koalahs can remain motionless long enough to be mistaken for management. Exhibit B demonstrates that bamboo disappears more quickly when placed near pandas. Exhibit C was eaten during review and is therefore considered especially persuasive. Dates are approximate, names have been misspelled for privacy, and all paw prints should be treated as both authentic and deeply inconclusive.

Researchers may request access to the complete collection, although the complete collection may not exist. Please cite Koalahs & Pandahs as “personal communication, mostly chewing.” We welcome corrections accompanied by snacks. Unsupported allegations will be filed under Interesting If True and revisited after lunch, unless they concern the missing lunch, in which case an inquiry begins immediately.