Bookings

Koalahs & Pandahs are available for select appearances, openings, closings, middles, and events that would benefit from two animals quietly judging the catering. Suitable engagements include festivals, brand moments, private celebrations, botanical disputes, ribbon cuttings, and meetings that have already gone on too long. We do not currently perform underwater or near vacuum cleaners.

A standard booking includes one koalah, one pandah, a reasonable quantity of foliage, and up to forty-five minutes of highly controlled unpredictability. Optional additions include ceremonial leaf presentation, synchronized chewing, a brief high-five, and the Premium Stillness Package. Travel requirements vary according to branch availability and whether anyone remembered to pack the eucalyptus.

To inquire, provide the date, location, guest count, event type, indoor or outdoor setting, and your proposed snack arrangements. Replies are typically issued within three to five business naps. A booking is not confirmed until the department has approved the foliage rider and everyone has agreed not to use the phrase “bear minimum.” Press interviews should be requested separately and may be answered entirely through eye contact.